good to me.  

Saturday, November 28, 2009

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know. If you're willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side... is spectacular."


I'm ready. Emotionally. Definately. I'm gonna take all the chances I have and fall as far as I need and at the same time, reach as far as I can. The bigger the risk, the better the gain. The more I'll experience and the more I'll learn. Then I can truly love and maybe find love. Yes I will be vulnerable but this time, I am ready. And, tougher indeed.

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ungrateful  

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I am helping you and you lash out at me. Good for you.
With the endless yelling and complaining and blaming-it's no doubt you're good at it.
But what good can you do with all that? I really wish someone will tell you off because I have no power to do so and have given up on you.

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according to you  

Monday, November 23, 2009

Listening to : Owl City-Fireflies

The crash studying period has started. Still going slow though.=( Less than 20 days to finals and 25 to holiiiidaaayyyyy. But now revising and cramming is of utmost importance and all the lazing around/dreaming/sleeping/goin out has really gotta stop.

I should go. Time to study like there's no tomorrow. You should to-unless you're already on break like the other 432856746359 people who's not in ACCA and have 4 mths break. Hmphhh!



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so many pieces, all missing, for too long now.  

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

2 songs I'm so SO in love with:

Gaga-Bad Romance
note: wait till after the credits-Gaga's on the bed with a burnt skeleton. What can't Gaga do, seriously?



Haha. The first time I heard it; it really made no sense with the 'rarara' and 'oolala'. Then I watched the video clip-it was really funny to me though Gaga did look freakkyy in the bath tub looking all dolly. And now, the song was nothing more than addictive especially the rarara part. LOL. Plus did you notice how many product placements there were in the MV? So that's how artists of today are making money since everyone decided to stop buying cds and dload everything and anything. Good idea really.

and,

Rihanna- Russian Roulette.

This is just awesome. The music, the mv, the lyrics-and I'm still trying to understand the meaning of the song. And when Riri said she wanted to be dark, that's what we all got alright. Very intense and dark and and deeep and just intense. She really has stepped up.
And, guess who died in the end.

Ok, youtube's not allowing me to put the vid here so click here, k.

And I googled to find out the meaning behind the song, here's what Yahoo music came up with:


"The message in Rihanna's "Russian Roulette" is more complicated to interpret. I felt chills the first time I heard it. I wondered why the song is named after the dangerous game? Is it supposed to be an analogy for her tumultuous relationship with Chris?

If so, why was it necessary to choose a metaphor this extreme?
The game of Russian Roulette involves inserting a single bullet into the chamber of a revolver, spinning the cylinder ... and pulling the trigger.

Before firing the gun, players hope that the cued up bullet chamber is empty.
Is Rihanna saying that her two-years with Chris was always just a click away from a tragic ending?
The "Russian Roulette" video feeds into the speculation, and is dramatic enough to star the likes of Sharon Stone and Angelina Jolie.
 
It opens with a scantily clad Rihanna lying on the floor. As she moves her hand, a small pool of blood is uncovered. The five red claw marks on the brick wall indicate a struggle. Rihanna's flashbacks intensify. They come faster and increasingly more disturbing, gruesome.

True to the song lyrics, the horrific game leaves Rihanna visibly troubled. She can't keep her composure. She is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, yet she continues to play along.
Rihanna comes apart as she faces the authority on the other side of the two-way mirror. She falls to her knees, worrisomely scratching her head, leaving her hair a mess.
As the video nears its close, the ill-fate finale unfolds.


There's just one final round of the haunting game, and the single gunshot heard at the end of the song scares Rihanna to death. The ending explains her predicament and her uneasy disposition. You feel her pain and wish her strength. If this is truly an analogy for her courtship with Chris, it's no wonder he is asking for forgiveness in "Crawl."


xoxo.

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eat. pray. love.  

Saturday, November 14, 2009

So, I've been feeling awfully unhealthy these past months. With absolutely NO exercise (seeing I stopped my gym membership), eating whatever and whenever and bumming around; it's really time I do something about it. I thought of running laps but then I just have that feeling that I won't push myself hard enough to get the results I want. So now I've got a new idea-yoga! Been there, done that-I so can do it all over again. This time more seriously. And maybe try pilates and I've got goals too :)

Which are poses like these:






















Haha. I know-abit far fetched. But it's not impossible. So there; goals set. Check back with me in 2 years time. :)









 Further, I may be able to regain the calmness I need with the overstressed life with studies and my family. So there, a getaway from reality.






Now to find a yoga class that meets my budget, etc.  I've been checking out Beyoga. But it's in Damansara-kind of far for me but the place looks gorgeous and they've got all sorts of classes and dedicated teachers. Any other recommedations? I would really appreciate it.




(photos from http://yogaiswheremyheartis.blogspot.com/-feat. Ninie Ahmad)








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bitter hypocrite  

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I'm trying very very hard not to hate you. You should be the last person I'm supposed to hate. And frankly, I'm better than this-having to hate. But you're just being bitter. With so many life experiences and considering your age, I don't think you turned out great. You just went downhill and never bothered to climb up again. And to think I have you as my role model and my person to look up to. Many times, I wish otherwise.

You pick fights, you point out everything unnecessary and blame blame blame, you point out problems and more problems but never bother to resolve them. It's never anything positive with you. And I'm not exagerrating here ok. What's the point of all this? So that you can brood and self pity and regret over almost everything possible? I find that just utterly bitter. Why live like this? And the fact that you only point out my flaws and mistakes, no wonder you can't stand me-cause you never saw any achievements or good things I do. And your mistakes, etc-they just don't seem to exist ( according to you).

Imagine you are everything I don't want to be and restrain to be. What a great role model you turned out to be huh. And as a parent, you failed to guide, to motivate, to support, to understand and to teach. Other than providing the necessities, you did not put any effort in anything more.

You never bothered. Why should I?

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honeyyy bee.  

Monday, November 2, 2009



I am a honey bee,
shunned off from the colony
and they won't let me in
So I left the hive,
They took away all my straps
and broke off both my wings
So I'll find another tree
and make the wind my friend
I'll just sing with the birds
They'll tell me secrets of the world

But my other honey bee
Stuck where he doesn't wanna be
But my darling, honey bee
I'll come save you
Even if it means I'd have to face the queen
So I'll come prepared,
My new friends say they would help me
get my loved one back
They say it isn't right,
To be self control of your mind
but I choose not to believe that

So we'll meet in the darkness of the night,
and I promised I will be there all time
We'll be guided by my new friends, the butterflies,
bring us back to our own little hive

Oh my other honey bee,

No longer stuck where he doesn't want to be
Oh my darling, honey bee,
I have saved you
And now that you're with me,
we can make our own honey.


So so sweet (: I have to study but I can't seem to do that. I lack the motivation and the attention span. So if anyone has good studying methods, do tell. Sharing is caring.

xoxo.

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fearless  

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Listening to: Prime Circle-She Always Gets What She Wants


I really am glad I forgave and forgot.
I would be in a much better position today if you didn’t happen.
But I can’t ask for too much.
I get that things happen for a reason. And it already has so I can't undo that.
But I can change the outcome. Change my perspectives and emotions and myself. They’re all within my control.
And I have amended as much as I can so far. And I’m very sure I’m better off today with the fact that I learn to forgive.

I’ve read somewhere; you have to forgive the person who hurt you, no matter what he/she has done. Not for the opposite party but for yourself. Because when someone hurts you, they take power over you and if you don’t forgive them, you’re letting them keep that power.

So be the better person, forgive. Yes it takes time to really to that-depending on how much the damage is. But it’s not impossible. Trust me.





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coffee & cigarettes  

This day finally came.
The day when I would find out how I would feel.
Now I know. And it isn't as bad.
No anger/hate-so that's good.
A part of me is glad. Another part is just nothing.
I feel nothing.
I’m just glad-for you, for me. It’s so much better than what I would have ever thought.
Good luck.

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